i want to be the one you tell everything to at 4am when you can’t sleep
Skin: Do you tan easily?
Eyes: What is your favorite show to watch?
Nose: What is your favorite perfume/candle fragrance?
Mouth: Do you want to kiss anyone right now?
Tongue: What was in your last meal?
Windpipe: Do you sing?
Neck: Do you wear necklaces?
Ears: How many piercings do you have (if any)?
Cheeks: Do you blush easily?
Wrists: Have you ever broken a bone?
Hands: Are you an artist/writer?
Fingers: Do you play an instrument?
Heart: Are you in love? If so, does the one you love know?
Lungs: Do you smoke cigarettes?
Chest: Are your maternal/parental instincts strong?
Stomach: Do you feel confident in your body image?
Back: Are you a virgin?
Hips: Do you like to dance?
Thighs: Has anyone ever called you fat or ugly?
Knees: Have you ever cheated on someone?
Ankles: Have you ever been arrested?
Feet: Favorite pair of shoes?
Brain: Anything you want to ask
y’all ever realize how on ancestry.com commercials
they never go back further than 1865
afraid to see what’s hanging out in your family trees?
y’all ain’t slick
"White people won’t go to far back in their family tree. Because they’re afraid a nigga might fall out." ~ Paul Mooney
the worst part about ugly dudes is everyone defends them like ‘he’s really funny though’ or something but if a chick is ugly to someone they just straight up dirt like they might as well not even have a personality
this has been my rule of thumb for years
'do it for the vine'
WHY DO PARENTS ALWAYS RUIN YOUR DAY AND THEN ACT LIKE THEY DIDNT RUIN YOUR DAY AND WONDER WHY YOURE IN A BAD MOOD
the guy in front of me walked into a post and i was so busy laughing that i walked into the same post
we’re going for coffee tomorrow morning