the-psycho-cutie:

i want to be the one you tell everything to at 4am when you can’t sleep

Ask me about my body. (¬‿¬)
Hair: What hair color looks best on you and what's your natural color?
Skin: Do you tan easily?
Eyes: What is your favorite show to watch?
Nose: What is your favorite perfume/candle fragrance?
Mouth: Do you want to kiss anyone right now?
Tongue: What was in your last meal?
Windpipe: Do you sing?
Neck: Do you wear necklaces?
Ears: How many piercings do you have (if any)?
Cheeks: Do you blush easily?
Wrists: Have you ever broken a bone?
Hands: Are you an artist/writer?
Fingers: Do you play an instrument?
Heart: Are you in love? If so, does the one you love know?
Lungs: Do you smoke cigarettes?
Chest: Are your maternal/parental instincts strong?
Stomach: Do you feel confident in your body image?
Back: Are you a virgin?
Hips: Do you like to dance?
Thighs: Has anyone ever called you fat or ugly?
Knees: Have you ever cheated on someone?
Ankles: Have you ever been arrested?
Feet: Favorite pair of shoes?
Brain: Anything you want to ask

rastaqueen3000ad:

queenconsuelabananahammock:

vomitinkonpaper:

youngblackandvegan:

y’all ever realize how on ancestry.com commercials

they never go back further than 1865

hm

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what happened?

afraid to see what’s hanging out in your family trees?

y’all ain’t slick

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"White people won’t go to far back in their family tree. Because they’re afraid a nigga might fall out." ~ Paul Mooney

coagulates:

the worst part about ugly dudes is everyone defends them like ‘he’s really funny though’ or something but if a chick is ugly to someone they just straight up dirt like they might as well not even have a personality 

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"   Here’s a general rule. When an insult is directed at a woman, consider how it would have sounded directed at a man. If the result is ridiculous, then it’s probably sexist.   "

came across this great comment on an article Ruby Tandoh (Great British Bake Off Runner Up) wrote for The Guardian (via aconits)

this has been my rule of thumb for years

(via ollivander)

fajitastic:

'do it for the vine'

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"   A woman is not written in braille, you don’t have to touch her to know her.   "

Unknown

I will reblog this every single time

(via hogwartsastory)

This is so fucking awesome

(via dreckshure)

sexualremarks:

WHY DO PARENTS ALWAYS RUIN YOUR DAY AND THEN ACT LIKE THEY DIDNT RUIN YOUR DAY AND WONDER WHY YOURE IN A BAD MOOD

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"   Don’t you think I was made for you? I feel like you had me ordered—and I was delivered to you—to be worn. I want you to wear me, like a watch-charm or a buttonhole bouquet.   "
Zelda Fitzgerald, in a letter to F. Scott Fitzgerald (via feellng)

isthisjustphantasy:

the guy in front of me walked into a post and i was so busy laughing that i walked into the same post

we’re going for coffee tomorrow morning

3D White Peace Symbol